Policed Bodies: The Surveillance and Control of Migrant Domestic Workers' Appearance

Earlier this year, HOME received a message in which an employment agency commented that a migrant domestic worker (MDW) was wearing an attire that was “super short”. The message made us wonder: to what extent do agencies, employers and Singapore society in general police the appearance of MDWs? We explored this question during a writing workshop for MDWs residing at HOME’s shelter.

Screenshot of the message we received.

We asked the participants: Are migrant domestic workers allowed to look beautiful? They unanimously agreed: of course they are! The next question was: what would your employer say if we asked them that same question? Now, the response was different. 

MDWs are conditioned to refrain from enhancing their appearance; with the expectation that they behave like desexualized beings. They are sometimes even perceived as a threat to the family unit. These restrictions are both societal and structural: work permit regulations explicitly prohibit MDWs from engaging in “any illegal, immoral, or undesirable activities, including the breaking up of families”. 

When MDWs dress up nicely, employers may judge them, or accuse them of only coming to Singapore to look for a boyfriend. Some employers restrict them in their appearance, not only during work hours, but also during their days off. Some also restrict the use of beauty products, such as makeup, and even personal care products like moisturiser and body soap. And it seems not only employers have opinions on how MDWs should look, many of HOME’s shelter residents received comments from the general public on their appearance outside of the house. 

Ratna from Indonesia is one of those whose appearance was consistently policed by her employers to the point that she was even restricted in how often she bathed.

“Sometimes my employer said, you look so pretty. Where are you going, dressed like that, are you going to see your boyfriend? That made me feel shy. I don’t have a boyfriend, because I am scared of heart pain. I told my employer this, but they still always kept saying it, and it really irritated me. 

My employer did not allow me to use moisturising cream after showering, so I had to hide my cream. Sometimes she screamed at me: What are you doing, why are you taking so long? She would knock on the door when I was in the bathroom. Sometimes I would not take a shower because I was worried I would take too long. She then told me I was stinky. But I didn’t care, because I was so tired, and everything I did was wrong for her anyway. One time I did not shower for three days because I wanted to show her how smelly it would make me. But they never complained that I was smelly, they only made jokes about me.” 

Marilyn from the Philippines likes to look nice and wear pretty clothes. Over the years, she has had several employers who worried about her looking too attractive.

“I have been working here for 18 years. My first employer only allowed me to wear pants below the knee and T-shirts that were not too short. Once a month I had a day off, and then I had to call my ma’am when I left my room, so my sir could go inside their bedroom. He must not see me during my day off. Ma’am allowed me to wear sleeveless shirts when I went out, but many of her friends told her she should not do that. 

With my next employer, I took care of an 8 year old boy. When only the child and I were at home, I would wear shorts and a sleeveless shirt. But then the grandmother scolded me and told me not to wear them, because it would make the child think of sex. 

With another employer, one of her friends asked me why she allowed me to wear shorts, and suggested that I should wear a uniform. And once at a playdate my friend told me that her employer had seen me wearing a dress that was very sexy. I told my employer and spoke to them about it, but to them it wasn’t a big deal.

One time my employer brought me to the hairdresser to cut my hair, because they said it was too expensive to pay for the water bill and buy shampoo and conditioner for my long hair. I asked her how much she was going to pay for the haircut and she said 10 dollars, and then I gave her 10 dollars for not cutting my hair.”

MDWs also described employers that care for their wellbeing and want them to feel good, as Wati from Indonesia relates. 

“My employer is a good person. They never forbade me to look beautiful. They told me I could wear shorts, but I didn’t feel very comfortable wearing shorts in their house. My employer didn’t prohibit me from wearing earrings. They gave me lipstick, lip balm, hand cream and bought me face wash because my skin is acne prone. They said they got it for me so I could look and feel good.” 

Asha, also from Indonesia, had a different experience. Her employers were very strict and she had to cover herself at all times, to unreasonable extents. 

“I came to Singapore with the hope of finding a good job and a good employer. But after I arrived everything was different from what I expected. When I first arrived at my employer’s house, all my belongings such as makeup, medicine, vitamins and food were taken from me and thrown away. I had to wear a hijab and cover myself all the time in front of the male employer.

If I wanted to go out on Sunday, I could only go after all my chores were done, so I had no time left to think about my appearance. At night, I could take a shower only after my work was finished, usually around 12.30. Even when I was sleeping I had to wear a hijab, because I slept in the living room, and my male employer might come home in the evening, or leave his own room and see me. And there was also CCTV facing the place I slept, which he could see as well. I felt very uncomfortable sleeping like that.”

Jenny from the Philippines says that having control over her appearance boosts her self-confidence. When she looks good, she feels good, she said.

“Are we as domestic workers allowed to dress up or get ourselves beautiful? Of course, yes, definitely, but we cannot please everyone, sometimes we are criticised just because we are only domestic workers. I used to join a charity as a volunteer. One day I encountered a local lady judging the way I dressed, I was wearing lipstick, and carried a nice, branded handbag. She told me how she treated her own helper, and compared the way she looked to me. At that point I could only think that it must be devastating to have such an employer.

More incidents like this happened. Once in a bus a local man shouted at me and my friends, saying that we as domestic workers weren’t allowed to make noise in the bus, and that we should get off at the next stop. He said that he noticed we were wearing lipstick and wearing pretty dresses on our day off too!

One of my previous employers told me to wear long pants at work. I didn’t really complain about it, but one time I had a skin allergy and I asked her if I could wear shorts as the rash got worse when I got hot and sweaty during work. She then said that instead of wearing shorts I could wear long skirts.

On weekdays if I go out to the supermarket, to remit money or do some window shopping, I feel people are always looking at me from head to toe. Also on the MRT I feel the same, like I am always being judged. I remember encountering a lady that told me: hey, you are a maid, why are you going out on a workday, why are you not working? Is your boss away? Once a lady told me to ‘wear proper clothes’—that day I was wearing sportswear as I just came from the gym.

Personally, I feel I have the right to make myself beautiful, both inside and out.”

At times, differences in cultural values cause a clash between MDWs and their employers. What is the norm in some places, is not acceptable in others, as Preet from India experienced.

“My employer never told me what to wear or not, and I wore pyjamas and shirts of my choice, because I felt safe in them. My employer did tell me not to wear makeup, because I was beautiful. My employer said I made her feel jealous. But what can I do? Where I am from it is mandatory for married women to wear makeup.”

Lita is also from India and had a similar problem. She shares how it makes her feel to look good.

“My employer told me I could not wear short pants but they did not tell me how to look. She gave me three pairs of long pants but they were not very comfortable, sometimes I felt very hot. She did not allow me to wear makeup in their house, and I did not have any days off so I don’t know what she would allow me if I went out.

When I came to HOME shelter I went to church and I dressed nicely and I felt and looked good. When my employer spoke to me with bad words, I felt that I didn’t look nice and it made me unhappy. When I feel pretty I feel good and happy.”

Lita wasn’t the only one that was told regularly that she didn’t look nice. Win Win from Myanmar was also often judged on her looks.

“My employer told me I don’t look nice, I don’t know why she said that. She said that during working hours I could not wear makeup, and during my day off I also could not wear it. When she said that I felt sad. This is my day off, why does she say that?

When she says I don’t look nice it makes me feel sad. My looks aren’t that bad.”

One of the more shocking stories we heard was from another MDW Su Su. She was told to cover up by her employer’s girlfriend, but this didn’t protect her. 

“Yes, a domestic worker can look beautiful. Actually, I am a woman that dreams of becoming a fashion model. But when I came to work in Singapore I had to wake up everyday at 7am and work until at least 11pm, until grandma slept. Once a month I had a day off, but only for five hours, not a full day. So I did not have any time to make my dreams come true. I never wore attractive clothes, because my employer's girlfriend didn’t like it. Even on my day off I had no freedom to dress as I liked. I realised I can’t do anything here in Singapore as I just work and work, like a robot. My employer often hosted parties, pool parties, dancing parties, several times a week, and then I had to work until 2 or 3am. My uniform to work in was a wide T-shirt and long pants. Every day I wore the uniform. I believe that my dreams to work in fashion were not a distraction to my work. I was very tired all the time, but I kept working there until my employer sexually harassed me. I was wearing the uniform, not a sexy dress, but even when I covered my body it did not stop him. It doesn’t matter what you wear, some guys are bad.” 

Lal, a resident from Mizoram, shared the freedom she feels in being able to wear what she wants, both at her employer’s home and at the shelter.

“During my job interview I asked my ma’am whether I can wear short pants. She said yes, you can wear what you like, as long as it’s not too sexy. But when I work I don’t like to wear dresses or spaghetti strap tops. Even if my employer says it’s okay, because I respect them.

Now I am in the shelter, I wear a sleeveless dress that I would not wear at my employer’s house, not even on my day off. Here in the shelter everybody wears what they like, nobody comments on what someone wears, no one complains.”