Erni’s Story: “Behind Every Worker’s Sacrifice is Not Just Labour, but Love” — The Need for More Empathetic Work Arrangements

Back then, overcharging and unfair deductions were rarely raised as issues. We simply accepted them, believing silence was survival.
- Erni

I am a single mother of three grown children. It was financial hardship that led me to leave home and become a domestic worker in Singapore. Many of our neighbours had already gone abroad and their families lived comfortably, even luxuriously. Their stories became my hope, my reason to dream.

I had done household work all my life, but working in Singapore is different. In Singapore, everything has to be done quickly, perfectly, and without mistakes. The biggest challenge is the language. I often struggled to complete my tasks at my first household due to the language barrier, and as a result, my employer was often unhappy with me.

In 2010, my salary was $310. For eight months, I worked for almost nothing as $300 was deducted every month to pay the agent fees. Back then, overcharging and unfair deductions were rarely raised as issues. We simply accepted them, believing silence was survival. I had no days off too. My world was limited to the walls of a house that was not my own and I was only allowed to talk to my family once a month, for a few precious minutes, with a $8 phone card given by my employer. I endured it all then, believing it was part of the sacrifice I had to make for a better future.

Slowly but surely, my mental health began to suffer. I had sleepless nights and a sense of endless fear. I worked harder and harder, hoping not to be scolded. After 18 months, I decided I couldn’t continue. I made plans to return to Indonesia to recover and regain my well-being.

After several months, however, I decided to try again as my friends told me, “Maybe this time your luck will change”. And thankfully, it did. I found a kind employer, someone who spoke with patience, not anger. When I made mistakes, they corrected me calmly and respectfully.

As time passed, unfortunately, my marriage began to fall apart. Distance and lack of communication took their toll, and eventually, we divorced. I didn’t ask for child support, something I now regret. Looking back, I wish I had demanded what was fair, not for myself but for my children. Sometimes, I still wonder: must a mother’s dream to give her children a better life come at the price of separation?

Domestic workers spend years away from home, returning only once every two years. While we care for other people’s homes, our own families drift apart. We give so much, yet lose what we hold most dear.

If only we could go home once a year to hold our children longer, to mend what distance has broken. I still hope that one day, hearts will open and more humane choices will be made. Because behind every worker’s sacrifice is not just labour, but love.